Luka Dončić and Saoirse Ronan’s Courtside Statement on the Zuckerberg vs Musk Cage Battle Turns Zombie Apocalypse
By means of Hollywood’s Silliest Insider
Luka Dončić: From the Courtroom to the Cage
Believe an evening the place a tender NBA sensation swaps his standard courtside seat for a view of tech titans grappling like youngsters in a sandbox. Luka Dončić is the fellow who is redefining triple-doubles, however can he stay alongside of double billionaires? He isn’t on my own, regardless that; Saoirse Ronan, the epitome of Hollywood class, is correct subsequent to him. She’s wearing one thing so sublime, it could simply outshine the spectacle within the cage.
Saoirse Ronan: Cinderella, however Make it 2024
If Cinderella made up our minds to visit a UFC fit as a substitute of a ball, she’d seem like Saoirse Ronan this night. Put out of your mind the glass slipper; her footwear may just almost definitely kickstart a brand new type empire.
Section One: The Pre-Battle Research
Luka Dončić: “You already know, I have noticed guys pretend accidents to get out of video games, however this… this can be a new degree of avoidance.”
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Saoirse Ronan: “I assumed I had noticed all of it. ‘Girl Fowl’ had drama, however this can be a melodrama with a Silicon Valley subscription.”
Section Two: The Now not-So-Glamorous Mid-Sport
Saoirse Ronan: “Oh, the humanity! Elon’s simply misplaced a tuft of hair!”
Luka Dončić: “In basketball, while you lose, you shake it off. Right here, you shake off your opponent’s DNA.”
Saoirse Ronan: “Mark’s blouse is so ripped; it is like he is auditioning for ‘Magic Mike: The Nerd Version.'”
Luka Dončić: “Smartly, he may want a profession trade after this.”
Section 3: From Tech Moguls to Actual Terror
(Cue: Common chaos, other folks screaming, the distinct moans of… zombies?)
Luka Dončić: “You listen that? Seems like my rookie 12 months locker room.”
Saoirse Ronan: “No, that is the unmistakable sound of an approaching zombie apocalypse. A normal Tuesday.”
(Everybody begins to panic, scrambling like ants.)
Saoirse Ronan: “What is the sport plan, hotshot? 3-pointer your approach out?”
Luka Dončić: “Too dangerous. However I am beautiful positive I will alley-oop a zombie or two.”
Saoirse Ronan: “Nice. I will persist with then you definitely. You move; I will shoot.”
So, what is the takeaway right here? A cage combat between tech moguls would possibly acquire an odd crowd, however it has got not anything at the unscripted terror of a zombie apocalypse. That is Hollywood for you: the place even an off-the-cuff night time out can become a blockbuster match.
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